Tuesday, December 09, 2008
Here's a pic of our T-giving spread. The food turned out to be pretty tasty, no complaints. The nice thing about not having any friends is that we didn't have to share dinner with anyone. I guess the bad thing about no friends is having to buy your own power tools.
Let's shove something up this Turkey's butt... let's shove some wet bread up its butt...
Before snapping this picture I said, "Brooklyn, say cheese!" She pulled Brittiny's hair up into a top knot and said, "Say pineapple!"
Friday, November 28, 2008
Sunday, October 12, 2008
Saturday, September 06, 2008
She recently celebrated her 3rd Birthday in style - at Chuck E Cheese. Buncha pics below:
The Bad: pizza is so bland it needs ketchup and mayo, Chuck E Cheese looks like a hydrocephalic gerbil, your kid will catch a cold from exposure to dozens of other grimy booger-eating toddlers spreading germs, and the $35 "special Birthday Surprise" is a stale doughnut pilfered from the dumpster behind the neighboring Starbucks.
The Good: the kids all leave you alone most of the evening, someone else gets paid to clean up the mess which includes any toddler pee on the floor ["Oh my gosh I can't believe it's really Chuck E Cheese and I can't have Dad take me to the potty because I might miss him!"] and spew in the carpet ["Daddy, I fink da pizza is dross and I fink I don't feel well and I fink I'm gonna puke-up... BRRRAAAAAAPPPPP!"]
Yeah, Chuck E Cheese is pretty awesome.
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
Brooklyn then proceeded to speak with me only in character, meaning that she was "Mommy" married to "Hockey Prince Charming" with at least one kid: me.
I asked her, "Where is Hockey Prince Charming?"
"He is busy working, Kid."
"What does he do for work?"
"He sits right there (pointing to my brown office chair in front of my work PC) and makes e-mails all day long and talks on the phone." I thought that was pretty funny.
Anyway, Braden has grown quite a bit over the last couple of weeks, drinking lots of milk and filling his diapers with a seemingly endless supply of grey poupon.
I'm too lazy to re-import this picture right-side up, but Braden loves his bath time.
Little bit of a smile, little bit of a faux-hawk. Braden is a truly happy kid; yet unaware that life sucks, people are mostly tools and the government taxes you even after death.
- Eyes: Torgersen/Thomas
- Mouth: Epperson
- Nose: Albright
- Ears: Albright/Thomas
- Eyebrows: Charles Bronson
Brittiny once told me, after she watched me help a neighbor move a washing machine out of an apartment basement: "I would so much rather have babies than life heavy furniture."
Having witnessed 2 pregnancies there is no way lifting a bunch of boxes can compare. For one, helping someone move doesn't make you irrational or gassy. Secondly, at the end of a pregnancy you have a cute little kid, instead of damaged furniture and a lot of marital tension. I did split my $9 TJ Maxx cargo's bending down to hoist a box of books.
The next morning we awoke in our new place. The fact that we were up until midnight moving boxes didn't phase Brookers-boo. She quickly made a friend, Leslyn, and marshalled a robust tea party, hosting in her Vera Wang fairy costume.
Leslyn's dad is a Gunnery Sgt with the Marines. When the girls started pouring the "tea" he blurted: PINKIES OUT, MAGGOTS!
Note her cute pose - she's managed to stay relevant despite her scene-stealing little brother.
Monday, June 23, 2008
"Why are you in timeout?"
"No. I no want to."
"Brooklyn Margo you will march right up to your Mother and tell her you're sorry for hitting her or you will stay in timeout all night long."
"I'n sorry Mommy fo' hitting you."
Brooklyn pauses for a moment, standing in front of the couch, then turns and runs full speed back to her room crying all the way. Those present to witness the apology are left to ponder its significance: Had we witnessed tears of joy from the soul-cleansing catharsis that comes only from true repentance? Was Brooklyn contemplating the far-reaching love of a selfless mother who so easily forgave her trespass? Did the gravitas of the intricate relationship between mercy and justice just bring a two year-old to tears?
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
At 07:28 PST on Tuesday, June 17th, Braden Brent Epperson abruptly entered LDRP room 303 at Yuma Regional Medical Center. Brittiny was a champ through her pregnancy and labor, and as I write this, is enjoying a well-deserved nap.
King Darius had Xerxes and JFK his "John-John", now I have Braden Brent.
Here's Baby Braden trying desperately to give me the finger. Who do you think he looks like?
When she was asked to hand back Braden, Brooklyn replied, "No, I am Braden's Mommy." It was a cute moment.
The official stats above. I like the stork cartoon in the lower right of the card. I asked our nurse, "If the stork delivered our baby, then what's with the big bill?" Get it?... Maybe that joke would work if the story were about a duck delivering babies instead of a stork... Oh well.
Tuesday, May 06, 2008
Two weeks earlier I flew to CT for work and Brittiny + Brookers spent the weekend there with me. It was fun to drive up to New Haven on the weekend to see so many friends from New Hay Hay and the Woodbridge Ward. Good times.
Now the pics...
Here Brooklyn finds an Easter egg on the back porch. With each egg she found she was equal parts of elation and surprise. Maybe I'm just cynical, but at some point I expected the novelty of finding plastic eggs around the house and backyard to fade. Nope.
Here are Mom and Brookers being all chic in NYC. If you can't tell from the pictures, Brittiny is about a month away from giving birth. Brooklyn insisted on keeping her new shades on all day long, even when the sun wasn't shining or we were in the car.
Brooklyn asked us every 10 minutes, "Do you like my new sunglasses? Are they beautiful?"
In NYC there is a huge Toys R Us. The place is pretty cool, with a large ferris wheel in the middle of the 6 stories of toys. The store gets old when you realize that it's just a big toy store, same as in your local mall, and your wife and daughter are both asking you for your wallet.This is Brooklyn's reaction to the Toys R Us ferris wheel. Man, were the rest of us bored on this thing! Whoever invented the ferris wheel, I'm guessing Ferris Buehler, had quite the racket going. It's like riding an escalator, except you get off in the same place you got on - a zero sum endeavor. What crap. At least with State Fair ferris wheel's there's the excitement of wondering, "Hey, I might get injured on this thing."
Here Brooklyn swings in Central Park. She loved the newly renovated kids part in the SW corner. It was pretty cool.
Even with all the excitement the City has to offer, 2 year-olds bore easily (yawn)!
Here's Brittiny and me in front of the same backdrop.
Nonny and Poppa in front of the Columbia River Gorge, just outside of Portland, OR. This view was fantastic.
Upper Multinomah Falls, pretty darn cool. Definitely worth checking out if your in Portland.
Here we are cheesing for the camera. In front of lower Multinomah falls.
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
Last week we had a nice visit from the Nonny. What is a Nonny, you might ask? She's like a nanny who works for free and bakes cookies 6 dozen at a time.
We took her to Sea World, which was pretty cool. Proud to be an American as I peeled off the Benjamins to pay for 14 dollar bags of popcorn slurpees in commemorative Shamu mugs. The mugs are made from non-biodegradable plastic, so they'll stay with you about as long as the crippling debt you incur to see a bunch of fish.
Here's Brittiny peeking out from under her rain slicker. The rain slicker is to protect her in case Shamu spews anchovies into the crowd.
Here's Shamu VII jumping out of her spacious 64 cu ft seawater tank. I'm amazed that people can train a Killer Whale to corkscrew, splash the crowd on command and dance the "Macarena", but I can't get a 2 year-old to use the freaking toilet. I bet the trainers could write a mad potty-training book.
Here Brooklyn is touching her first Sea Star -- Nonny helping her out. She said the star felt like "boogers".
Nonny, Brookers and me leaving Sea World.
After SeaWorld we stopped at the San Diego temple. It's a beautiful temple, but crawling with Mormons.
We traveled to Utah a few weeks ago for baby Hailey's blessing, staying the first night West of Ogden in Plain City. Here Brooklyn played on Granpa's swingset. Even though it was 15 degrees outside and she was sans coat, we couldn't get her off the swing. She had a great time visiting her cousins and Gpa's.
Driving back to Utah, somewhere around Mesquite, Brookers fell asleep. I asked Brittiny to put her sunglasses on her as the sun was in her eyes. Brittiny did so, then asked me if I wanted to watch, Weekend at Bernie's. Weird, I was just thinking the same thing.
Brooklyn helped me wash the cars last Saturday. She obediently rinsed the front of the car for about 3 seconds and then turned the hose on me, laughing so hard the whole time she could barely hold onto the hose. She would then attempt to coax me back within hosing range, smiling, "Daddy, come a oba here so I'n to do it washa car!" I would slowly approach the car and before I was even in range she would be smiling and laughing at the thought of soaking me with the hose. When I got close enough, she would swing the nozzle toward me and start convulsing in laughter shaking the nozzle all around, getting herself very wet in the process. Kids are so cute.
Well, that's it for now. More pics to come at a later date.