Saturday, December 31, 2005
Sunday, December 25, 2005
Post-blowout, we opened the presents from under our little tree. Thanks (primarily) to Nonny's forethought we had a lot of presents and it was so nice to unwrap so many gifts. All were great presents, but the best present was the pictures of the Epperson family from home - we'll hang these in a conspicuous place in our Apt. Brooklyn digs the Baby Einstein DVD... she made a spit-beard while watching it.
Well, we have to roll out and eat a Turducken. What's a Turducken, u ask? It's a chicken stuffed with sausage stuffed up a duck's butt then stuffed up a turkey's butt. You then bake @ 420 degrees for 5 hours. Merry Christmas everyone....
Brandon, Brittiny & Brooklyn
This is a pic of Brookers in a a crochet outfit that Kirsten made. Kirsten is a classmate with Brittiny. We love this little outfit, plus it keeps Brookers warm.
Momma holding our bundle, still wrapped in this little outfit.
Saturday, December 17, 2005
Ok, now I tell y'all how I 'tarded out. I bought Brittiny a new camera as a Christmas present and e-mailed my mom bragging "I got Brittiny this diggity-dank camera..." So Mom e-mailed me a lenthgy reply touching upon various subjects - this e-mail posed new questions regarding Christmas plans. I wisely forwarded this mail to Brittiny in order to not have to draft a new mail posing my mom's questions for her. I received a phone call from Brittiny 5 minutes later: "You are so retarded and now I know that you got me a camera for Christmas." Yeah, sometimes I'm a tool like that. Sometimes I'm a tool in other ways, too... I pretty much like to spread it around.
Obligatory Brooklyn Pictures.... this is our little Angel in her Blessing Day Dress. These pictures were taken in early November. Brooklyn still fits into this dress alright. Heck, we may even dress her up in it again to take more pictures. She's so freaking cute!
Friday, November 18, 2005
Brooklyn has begun vocalizing a lot more these past few weeks. She's also become a proficient "spit-bearder". On Sunday mornings we take Brooklyn to the park where the old retirement castle guys play chess -- Brooklyn is by far the finest spit-bearder there.
Okay, so here's a bunch of pictures for all y'alls....
Saturday, October 29, 2005
Here are some recent pics of Brooklyn - maybe all y'alls will get off my back now?
Baby Brooklyn sporting the white cap Aunt Holly knitted for her. I think that the onesie makes her look like a piece of fruit-striped gum:
The first day we left Mom alone with our hot baby, she did her hair up like Audrey Hepburn in Roman Holiday. I googled Ms. Hepburn, and let me say that she appears a lot older than Brooklyn. Oh, she is also deceased. Thanks, Mom, for comparing our baby to a famous old, dead woman. (I did read a court case in my Fed Tax class about the estate tax problems presented by the intestate succession of Hepburn's mansion in Westport, CT - 423 F.3d 235.)
Brooklyn sleeping after a busy evening of filling her diaper.
Brooklyn striking a boudoir pose. Speaking of boudoir, hey Dad, i found a great site for your Halloween cotume: http://www.theboudoironline.com/whatsnew.htm
Sunday, October 16, 2005
Q: “Our baby cries a lot, unless she is being held. She is 10 weeks old. Why does she cry so often, and what can my Husband and I do?”
A: While it can seem as if your baby is crying for no apparent reason, determining the cause of your baby’s distress can help you figure out how to soothe her. At 10 weeks your baby's eyesight has probably sharpened just enough that she can recognize both you and your husband: this is the apparent root of her constant crying. Your baby is crying incessantly because she has probably never seen something so objectionable as the two of you. She may also have figured out that you're her parents. This no doubt added to her infantile despair. Do your kid a favor: find her a good therapist now.
Q: "Our baby has very smelly poopies. Is this a cause for concern?"
A: Are you being freaking serious? Your child just bombed in her pants and you're asking me if it's okay that it doesn't smell good? What the fetch did you expect it to smell like? How 'bout you do an experiment: blast a dukie in some adult diapers, then take a big ol' wiff... surprised that it doesn't smell like White Diamonds?... Okay, well maybe it does smell like White Diamonds, but the point is that baby diapers smell awful.
Okay, that's about all... first Pic is of Brooklyn and me. This is how we spend the first few hours of every Saturday - these are my favorite times.. Eventually she wakes up, realizes that I don't lactate and then cries for Mommy.
This next Pic is Brittiny and Brooklyn using the Baby Bjorn (Brooklyn is the one in the Bjorn). This thing is awesome. Brittiny can haul our cute bug around anywhere from the park to Park Avenue as Brooklyn loves the ride.
Brooklyn's reaction to one of my lame jokes. I think the look on her face aptly expresses her embarrassment:
More pics to come...
Saturday, October 01, 2005
This past week the Albright clan was visiting us in our wee shanty. We had a great time with Mark, Sheree, Tiffiny, Gerrett, Jason, Jake, Brooke, Kayle and Jaxen. We didn't have enough couch/air mattress space, so the adults all had to sleep standing up - (thankfully for those involved, being raised in the LDS church sort of pre-conditions you for such odd somnolence). We think everyone had a good time and enjoyed getting to know the East coast.
On Wednesday morning it was so sad for us to have an empty house again (sniff, sniff). It was especially sad to not see the smiling faces of Jaxen, Gerrett and Jake as I entered the kitchen door after work that night. Thanks for the good times, nephews! I'll pour a Mtn Dew out on the curb for y'all...
And now the pics:
Mystic Seaport/Aquarium with Brooklyn (in the Bjorn) and Jake Albright waving to the camera.
Brooklyn, Brittiny and me a couple of minutes before the blessing. Brooklyn was wonderful the whole time @ church, and especially during the blessing. I got more than a little choked up holding this little angel in my arms to tell her all that was in my heart at that moment. There just aren't enough occasions this memorable or this sweet in our short mortal sojourn...
Aunt Brooke holding li'l Brooklyn @ Mystic Pizza in Mystic, CT. This place was made famous by the movie filmed there with Julie Roberts. I think it was Erin Brockovich, or Goodfellas... I really can't remember:
Friday, September 16, 2005
"What makes my Brooklyn think is that she thinks not only with her baby brain, with her furrowed brow, her flared nostrils as she adroitly fills her bulging diaper, and rooting lips, but with every fat roll of her neck, 3 AM feeding, and diaper blowout, with her clenched fist and smiling blue eyes" - BRITTINY EPPERSON
Here is Baby Brooklyn enjoying a nice sit in her boppy
Our little bug sleeping al fresco, or is it al dente?... (note her well defined baby biceps - we took her with us to the gym today)
Saturday, September 03, 2005
Anyway, to bolster my point that Country Music (or Western Whine, as some like to call it) is depressing, sappy and chock full of trite lyrics, let's examine a popular Country song, Austin, by Blake Shelton:
She left without leaving a number
Said she needed to clear her mind
He figured she'd gone back to Austin
She talked about it all the time
The chick left without leaving her number because you're a lose-bag, Blake. She probably got fed up with you because @ 37 years of age you still think it's cool to jump into your '85 Dodge Aires wagon through the opened driver side window (ala Dukes of Hazzard) and insist that every single sentence out of your mouth be prefaced with, "I tell you what..." Or maybe one day as she sat at home watching Jerry Springer reruns and gnawing on pork rinds she realized there are plenty of eligible bachelors in the greater Waco area, thus no reason for her to be saddled with a toolbag such as yourself.
It was almost a year before she called him up
Three rings and an answering machine is what she got:
Nice, Mr. Shelton, I really like the way you rhymed "up" with "got". That's brilliant. Seriously, I hope you're proud of yourself for finding some random 7 year old kid and cajoling him into attempting a rhyme out of those crap lyrics.
If you're callin' 'bout the car I sold it
If this is Tuesday night I'm bowling
Rhyming "sold it" with "bowling"? Whatever you're paying that 7 year old kid - it's too much. Next time make sure you don't pick someone from the remedial class to do your lyrical work, okay?
If you got somethin' to sell, you're wastin' your time
I ain't buyin'
Actually, this line would more properly be "I ain't buying because I'm still in debt from the lift kit I put on my Bronco II. That plus Copenhagen just went up 75 cents."
If it's anybody else, wait for the tone
You know what to do
And PS, if this is Austin, I still love you
I could go on an on with this song... it's horrible. But Wifey reminds me that "not all Country Music is garbage". So let's take a look at a few selected hits from the Country Music Billboard top 25:
- #5 - Do You Want Fries With That?: by Tim McGraw - No thanks, Tim, I'll pass. But that's a handy phrase to teach your faithful fans as they will spend the majority of their adult years bouncing from one fine fast food employer to the next. Maybe a followup album could include the songs My First Trailer Park and I Financed Your Cubic Zirconia Down at the Pawn Shop.
- #6 - Alcohol: Brad Paisley - I remember Mr. Gentry (my 10th grade English teacher) telling me that all good writers must stick to what they know. George F. Will writes about politics rather than whether Brittany Spears is "frumpy" as a pregnant woman. Well, Country Music singer Brad Paisley has followed this axiom and chose to write about getting liquored up - touche.
- #12 - Redneck Yacht Club: Craig Morgan - Well, the premise of this song is pretty much a farse. Rednecks on yachts? The title should be Rednecks on pontoon boats or swampers. In the Redneck vernacular a yacht is something you should be engaged in doing - ie, "Yacht could wear these to your job interview, Brandine."
- #16 - Hicktown: Jason Aldean - his song rhymes "Bronco" with "truck pull"... but the best lines have to be: "Well you can see the neighbors butt crack nailing on his shingles; And his woman's smokin Pall Mall's watchin' Laura Ingles". Wow, that is some talented butt crack to be up there roofing - I wish my butt crack could do that. These lyrics add credence to the unofficial Yankee custom of deducting IQ points immediately upon hearing a Southern accent.
Anyway, I hope not to offend anyone who fancies the Southern twang, rather, I hope to help them help themselves. Remember, friends don't let friends listen to Billy Ray Cyrus.
Friday, September 02, 2005
Brooklyn is now 12 days old and getting more chubba every day. Apparently most newborns lose weight at first and don't regain their birth weight until about 2 weeks. Brooklyn had already gained 4 oz. @ her one week Dr.'s appointment, prompting her Pediatrician to say "She's obviously taken very well to breastfeeding."
Brittiny and I are adjusting to life w/our too cute and cuddly baby- as you can tell from some of the pics, we've had some help. Thank you's to Mark, Sheree, Brent and Buffy for helping us welcome Brooklyn into the family. Brittiny and I certainly didn't do anything to deserve such a wonderful daughter, but no complaints. We're learning little lessons daily about what she likes and dislikes - she lets us know either way. For now we're just happy to be spending time together w/our new addition.
Tuesday, August 30, 2005
Brittiny and I are pleased to announce the arrival of our beautiful daughter, Brooklyn Margo Epperson. Brittiny was scheduled for an induction at 8:00am Monday morning. However, Brooklyn surprised Mom & Dad (and all of the OB/GYN staff at the Yale New Haven Hospital) by arriving @ 5:59am Monday morning, born @ the top stair landing of their Maltby Gardens apartment. ;)
Brittiny was amazing throughout the entire pregnancy and certainly did not disappoint with her surprise delivery to a couple of scared Paramedics in the apartment hallway. She even helped them out with suggestive comments such as "AREN'T YOU SUPPOSED TO BE SUPPORTING MY PERINEUM?!". Thankfully the delivery went well and now both Mom and baby are home, in excellent shape and enjoying each other's company. Already it's impossible for us to imagine life w/o our beautiful little girl!
With the arrival of our little angel has come the understanding that our lives are to change dramatically and forever. Brittiny is coping with the sorest of nips. I'm coping with the realization that in the not-too-distant future Brooklyn will start dating. I'll postpone thoughts that this precious little creature will someday be a surly teenager, pleading with her mom to buy her some pair of jeans that cost more than my first car. For now she is beautiful, perfect, and ever so welcome in our home. We love you Baby Brooklyn and welcome to the family! - sorry we're not better-looking ;)
Saturday, August 20, 2005
Chapter 1: Your baby's appearance... your baby will obviously be a baby, so there will really no way that you'll confuse her with, say, your bookshelf or an air conditioner. (I'm not even sure what purpose this chapter of the video served).
Chapter 2: Breastfeeding... okay, so this isn't as simple as one might suspect. A nursing mother can't just unleash a breast and expect her baby to navigate her own way to milky satisfaction. There's a lot of technique involved. As with a solid, repeatable golf swing, sound mechanics go a long way with breastfeeding. There are even breastfeeding coaches, or 'Lactation Consultants', that specialize in breast maintenance for maximum milk production. Also, after a baby has drunk her fill, you have to whack her on the back until she yaks all over you... man, this baby thing is sounding better every minute.
Chapter 3: Sleeping... about all I got out of this segment is that newborns never sleep. All of the parents in the video looked like hell. Don't drive around in your car to put your kid to sleep. If you baby is very fussy, anxious and difficult to comfort, you should either read her some Garrison Keillor or give her a cigarette, as both tend to soothe frazzled nerves.
Chapter 4: Baths... you should wash your baby with water and baby soap. Be sure to wash in between all of the folds of your baby's chubby bod. You should next rub alcohol around the umbilical cord area (Heineken works best). Rinse, dry and immediately dress your baby in a clean, pressed shirt.
Chapter 5: Diapering... most babies are unable to use a toilet for at least a few months. The solution to this messy problem is apparently to make your baby wear a "diaper". For those of you who have never seen one, their design is similar to a feedbag that you strap to a horse, but trust me, that's not hay in there! Seriously, though, the baby's 1st BM looks like tar, called meconium. My buddy Tim told me that he spent a whole box of wet wipes on Avery's first poopie. He later used this self-same poopie to patch some holes in his fishing boat.
Chapter 6: Crib Safety... every baby should be able to go home and chill in her crib. There should be no pillows in the crib. Also no posers should be allowed near the crib, thus maintaining the crib's chill nature.
Well, that's about all the Yale New Haven educational video had to offer, but it was perfect for expectant mothers/fathers like Brittiny and me. Although Brittiny is a 4th yr medical student, she is clueless when it comes to Motherhood. Fair enough, since she s never been a mother. Anyhow, we are both so excited to welcome Baby Brooklyn into the world!
Thursday, August 18, 2005
On Monday my mom and I went to my appt with the OB/Gyn. She did an ultrasound and we got a really good look @ Brooklyn. Brandon says that looking at an ultrasound is just like checking on brownies by peering through the glass front of an oven, you can't really tell if they're done. If only we could stick a toothpick in her. Brooklyn's face was all smashed up against my uterus. If I were her, there's no way I would keep on keeping on in there - I'd come right out. The most unsettling news of the ultrasound is that our baby will unfortunately have ugly feet. Our biggest concern since we conceived was that Brooklyn have cute feet. It now appears that she has my high arch and Brandon's nappy Hobbit toes. This is a bad, bad combination, but we'll just be sure to keep her in socks in mixed company.
Not a whole lot else going on in our household. I've finished decorating Brooklyn's room with the help of my mom who's been out here for the past few weeks. We bought a lot of stuff that has really made our second bedroom cute and cozy for the baby. Brandon points out to me as I spend money that she won't notice any of this stuff, but I pretend I can't hear him.
That's all folks! With the next post hopefully we'll have our baby!
(To the right you can see Brandon testing out our Baby Bjorn)
Saturday, July 09, 2005
We had an ultrasound on Friday. The ultrasound went well, except for the sticky gel that the Tech lathered all over Brittiny's clothes. Seriously, I didn't see the point of smearing that stuff on every inch of her shirt, unless of course you were trying for some kind of wet t-shirt ultrasound thingy... But everything went really well. Brooklyn currently packs a walloping 5.3 lbs. That's pretty good. On the ultrasound we could see the fat rolls on her neck. Brittiny and I had been really concerned that Brittiny's tummy hadn't gotten big enough. Actually, we weren't concerned until her appointment a week ago where the OB measured her tummy and said "Hmmmm, I think that you should be bigger." Brittiny was dismayed because, to her, she looked like she ate an airplane flotation raft and then pulled the ripcord. To say the least, we're both relieved.
There was some cause for concern with the ultrasound, however. Brooklyn is obviously a very hot baby. All the other guy babies are sure to be "Who is that hot baby? How bout like you come on over and chill at my crib?" Jared Olson (see JaredandHolly.blogspot.com) can surely attest to the dangers of having a hot chick baby. I'm simply not prepared for this.
Oh, we also noticed on the ultrasound that Brooklyn has Brittiny's high-arched feed, and my hobbit-toes. This is a tremendously bad combination. Brittiny had said while looking at our bare feet at the beach last week, "There's no chance in hell she's getting attractive feet." Yesterday's ultrasound confirmed our fears.
Everyone give a shout out to the Buffmeister who had a birthday today. Yes, she received her "Happy Birthday Mr. President" phone call, all the way from CT.
That's all for us this week...
Thursday, June 30, 2005
We have a long weekend coming up, so hopefully we'll get some postings on the way. Brittiny's belly gets a little bigger every day, and Brooklyn appears to be training in there for some pre-natal gymnastics meet or something. A typical evening goes like this for us:
Enter Brandon, home from school. He walks up the Maltby Gardens apt. stairs and greets his wife in the kitchen.
Brandon: Hi babe (kiss). How's Brooklyn been today?
Brittiny: Gosh, she's moving around a TON today. I don't know what she's doing in there.
So that's pretty much it for us. Will update soon.
Out like parachute pants,