Saturday, May 01, 2010

The erosion of bedtime stories in the Epperson household...



is nearly complete. Time was I would bring elaborate plot-lines and character-specific voices into the evening storytelling. Subtly I would lead Brooklyn, wide-eyed, through a world of grotesque monsters, angelic princesses and involved social situations. The plot-lines were complicated and imaginative (think Dexter) and the action intense (think Remo Williams). But, sadly, I realize that the situation has somehow changed.

To wit, here is a portion from Brookers' favorite bedtime story 2 years ago:

"...the Prince rode his horse swiftly up the winding stone path toward Maleficent's dark castle perched atop the jagged peaks of the Devil's Backbone, the steed's hooves producing sharp metronomic clicks that scattered into the still night. The brave Prince Phillip slipped his hand down toward the glowing Sword of Truth and closed his fingers around its leather-wrapped handle. The cold steel grew warm to his touch, a pale blue light eking out from the edges of the scabbard..."

I used to care. I used to watch Brooklyn's reaction to every line of the story. She would pull the covers up to right under her nose when Maleficent were in a scene, beam when I described Aurora dancing with her Prince, and squirm (but also ask for me to repeat the details) when they finally smooched.

Here's what she and Braden got last night:

"...so the Prince was like, hey, how come we have this report running in UAT but no requirements were drawn up? And then the evil co-worker was like: Oh, didn't you see that e-mail - it went out to the whole kingdom?

And then the Prince went home and his Princess was all: make me some nachos - now the cheese is too bubbled, how long did you nuke these - do everything I say - is that your wet towel on the bed - I'm pregnant - hang that shelf in the laundry room."


Yeah, I can only imagine how little effort I'll put forward with #3.

7 comments:

Momila said...

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!
You are SO whupped I love it.
I think I stayed amazingly awesome in the bedtime story/song department for 14+ long years.....maybe it was just as well your father traveled so much :) To this day I can recite "Down In The Boondocks" and, sadly, also "Oscar the Otter".
Remember that OUR #3 was Holly. You should be so lucky.

Kellie/Joe said...

You're gonna just buy Braby some books on tape, is what you're gonna do.

brohammas said...

Really? I'm assuming this was not your familial pregnancy announcement. If so, even bigger "hats off" to you.

My most recent bedtime story went something like, "No, you already went potty, The air conditioner makes noise every night, I don't care if your little sister has bad breath; go back to bed!"

celeste said...

Are you guys preggers? Congrats!

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